Today is my 40th birthday.
I spent some time reflecting on life and things I’ve learned in the last few decades. Maybe you’ll find something useful in here.
On Walking with the Lord
- Walking with the Lord feels different at 40 than it did at 20. My relationship with God is so much sweeter and steadier. I’ve been chastened by trials, I’ve tasted dirt, I’ve fought sin, and and I’ve stacked up more hours in the prayer closet. But I think mostly, the older you get the longer history you have of seeing the Lord’s hand in your life. There’s that trust and closeness with Him that, like with any relationship, only comes with time.
- Spiritual disciplines compound. The little daily time of prayer and devotions can seem insignificant, easy to skip. But as with sleep or exercise, it’s not something you can “catch up” on once life finally slows down. You’ve got to prioritize daily time with the Lord.
- Dying to self is supposed to hurt.
- Walking by faith means you’re going to feel lost sometimes.
- What you tell yourself you sell yourself. Spiritual warfare is a battle of truth vs. lies, and it’s waged between your ears. From the moment you wake up til you lay your head down on the pillow at night, thoughts are flowing through your head. You’ve got to fill your mind with truth, and use it against the intrusive thoughts.
On Work & Calling
- Choose meaning over money, every time. Going all in on Redeeming Productivity in my mid-30s was the best career decision I ever made. It seemed insane at the time, and a little financially reckless. But there is nothing like feeling that you are actually doing what the Lord made you to do. I actually look forward to Mondays. And it’s allowed me to carve out a lifestyle that has margin for family, serving my church, and rest.
- Trusting the Lord for your daily bread is something you actually have to do daily. Working for myself made that obvious. But I realized I didn’t think about my daily reliance on the Lord in the same way when I had “a steady job.” Being made more aware of that dependence has been a massive blessing in my life.
- Build castles, not igloos. Create stuff that lasts, ideally eternally. There’s a reason meaningless work is soul-sucking; we have eternity written on our hearts. Do all your work as unto the Lord, but look for opportunities to do things that will outlive you.
- Inspiration is perishable. When you have an idea, seize the moment. That flash of excitement has a shelf life. “Someday” is the dream killer.
- Contentment is the ultimate life hack.
On Personal Productivity
- Clear priorities trump perfect efficiency. It’s easy to get lost in shaving off a few minutes on things you don’t need to be doing. Find the biggest lever and pull it.
- Sometimes optimizing is just a way to avoid doing the important stuff.
- It’s okay to sprint for a season, but don’t become hustle-bound. That way lies burnout.
- Complexity is the enemy of clarity. Simplify, simplify, simplify.
- Take long walks. You waste years by not letting yourself waste hours. To know what’s important, you have to make time to pray and reflect.
- It really does all hinge on your morning routine. It’s the rudder of the day.
- Aim for completion, not volume of activity. Productivity isn’t about doing things; it’s about getting them done.
- The middle of every successful project looks like a disaster. “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean” (Proverbs 14:4).
- Creating something excellent doesn’t take 2x the effort, it takes 100x.
- Speed and quality are usually inversely correlated. It’s more productive to do a few things slowly and well than many things quickly and poorly.
On Masculinity & Fatherhood
- Being a man just means taking responsibility. Depending on the occasion, that might manifest as courage, dependability, or faithfulness. But it all boils down to one thing: Men take responsibility—for their actions, for their mistakes, for their work, and for the ones they love.
- Confidence comes from mastery. Mastery comes from the courage to be bad at something for a long time.
- If you work with your mind, rest with your hands. If you work with your hands, rest with your mind.
- Comfort is a sedative. Rest well, but do not become addicted to comfort.
- Children are a blessing. I wish we’d started earlier and had more.
On Success
- The only metric that matters is faithfulness to God.
- Don’t borrow your convictions and don’t optimize for a future you don’t actually want.
- Success is having the freedom to focus on the work you find most meaningful. Find a way to do the thing you would do even if you didn’t get paid for it. Then do it to the glory of God.
- Figure out what you want and aim all of your faculties at it. It is both that simple and that hard.
- You’re overwhelmed because you choose to be, usually because you’re hiding from what you know you should be doing.
Relationships
- Humility is the heart of love. There’s a dignity in quietly absorbing an insult, a slight, or an injustice. We think insisting on our own way will make us happy. It won’t. We think keeping score will result in fairness, but it only leads to bitterness. With self-sacrificial love, you gain more than you give.
- Encouragement is rare. Compliments are free. Tell people when you appreciate them.
- Marriage rules. Don’t believe the naysayers. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” (Proverbs 18:22a).
- Jealousy is poison.
- Relationships are a blessing, but don’t idolize them. People you love, look up to, and respect will disappoint you. That’s to be expected. They are just people. Only the Lord is perfectly faithful. Trust Him completely.
On Technology
- It is impossible to predict or quantify the negative side effects of new technologies. Those urging caution first appear to us as Luddites. Later, we call them prophets.
- Phones are for procrastination, not productivity. It’s been 14 months phone-free. And it’s been one of the single best changes I’ve ever made in my life.
- Delete social media. Two years off. Wish I’d done it years ago. All upside. No downside.
- Paper is peak tech. I find myself using paper more than ever for planning, writing, everything. Paper has a built-in app blocker. Paper never interrupts your train of thought. Paper always has notifications turned off. Paper, like quality, is slow.
Final Thought
- Your life is a stewardship. Don’t waste it.
